Why I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Name Things
Like many of you, I am plagued with the stress of naming my
first child.
However, my child will be an English bully that looks like
this:
My child will be born in the next couple weeks and I’ll get
her around August. While I’m BURSTING with excitement, naming other beings
sucks. A lot. I mean, I can’t even name my blog anything interesting (working
on it....ish).
There is a flaw for every name I like. It
most likely will be female and white, possibly with brown spots.
In example,
Cupcake.
When I hear Cupcake, I picture this:
So cute. However, everyone told me it’s way too “cutesy”.
But they forget. While THIS?
Is “cutsey” as a Cupcake,
bulldogs grow up.
And this? As a Cupcake?
Is hilarious.
Cupcake is running for the win.
I then thought of Portly. Because what would a fat English
gentleman be? A PORTLY gentleman.
And it actually sounds like a name!
However, my dog will be a girl. I don’t want to give her a
gender complex. And then there’s the whole “calling her fat in a fancy way”
thing. I’m still conflicted.
And then there was Nugget. In which, I picture this:
Adorable! Bulldogs DO remind me of chicken nuggets!
Until my baby sister informed me that it could be construed
as a drug reference. I was apparently absent that day in school when we learned
every possible name for any drug ever. And again, it sounds like a boy.
And then we came to Moo.
 |
| I was going to draw this one until I found this picture. Seriously? This owner needs to be my best friend. |
I’m still in love with this one but everyone says no. Moo is
funny and you all know it.
There was also Miss Piggy.
My mother told me that was cruel to name my dog that. As if there
is anything wrong with looking like a little pig! I happen to find pigs
adorable. My only issue is that actual Miss Piggy bothers me.
But Miss Piggy sparked a whole “let’s name her after a
character – especially an animated character!” thing.
Like, Alice. As in my FAVORTE FAVORITE thing of all time,
Alice in Wonderland.
 |
| Yes, I'm aware it's just a normal dog with a bow. Your point? |
But then I think of Alice from the Brady Bunch (terrifying)
or that book Go Ask Alice (also terrifying).
Bambi.
 |
| It's creepy on many, many levels. |
But I honestly hate that movie – it is too sad for me to
even watch!
And Hamm.
 |
| You totally thought of this also. |
Which is funny but sounds like a boy and I kind of hear John
Ratzenburg’s voice when I say it which is creepy.
So I kind of gave up on that and went to people names.
The cutest? Molly.
Oh wait.
Except how stupid does Molly and Holly sound?
And then I thought of Dolly.
 |
| Bulldog is judging you. |
So then I found Chloe.
Until someone informed me that Chloe reminds her of that
prostitute movie.
And then I think of this.
 |
| Disturbing, isn't it? |
And then my mother suggested Muffin, and I could call her Muffy
for short.
Which I didn't see anything wrong with. Until OF COURSE someone had to tell me.
I am not providing a picture reference for this one.
And now I’m back to Cupcake.
Thoughts? Help?
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6 comments:
Cupcake!
Bully wrinkles remind me of swirls of frosting.
Waffles
Sofie/Sophie
Zoe/Zoey
Dolce
Katie, me too that is exactly what I thought! AND Kelly, wait, I totally thought of Waffles before! I liked it but then someone said it sounds like I was "waffling" about my decision to have her (seriously. That's what they told me.) And I know a Sophie and a Dolce, and my mom has a Zoe (which I named!). hahaha So difficult!
I like Cupcake! :) Why can't an adult bully be called that?
I like Cupcake! :) Why can't an adult bully be called that?
I agree Kristen! I think Cupcake is so funny for an adult bully!
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